Discernment Therapy is focused on determining a direction forward, whereas couples therapy is focused on improving the relationship. If both partners are mutually motivated to fix the relationship, then the couple should pursue couples therapy. However, if one or both partners are one-foot-out, then discernment therapy is the preferred treatment modality. 

Another difference is that couples therapists uphold a no-secrets policy whereas a discernment therapist does not. This is because of the different treatment focuses and is explained further below. 

Information shared during individual conversations is not directly disclosed to the other partner. However, the discernment therapist may selectively share their own impressions, observations, and reactions from those conversations when clinically appropriate and helpful to the discernment process. For example, rather than saying, “Your partner said they still love you,” your discernment therapist might say, “I am sensing love and care in your relationship, even if it feels difficult to see right now.” The purpose of this approach is to preserve the privacy of individual conversations while still helping both partners gain insight into the relationship and the possibilities ahead.

If you disclose something significant during an individual conversation, such as an affair, your discernment therapist will not automatically disclose that information to your partner or insist that you reveal it during discernment counseling.

Discernment counseling is designed to help couples carefully consider the future of their relationship, including whether they wish to pursue couples therapy and work toward repairing the relationship. This may involve exploring whether an affair should continue or end as part of that decision-making process.

It is important to distinguish this from traditional couples therapy. If you decide to transition into couples therapy, undisclosed information central to the relationship’s difficulties needs to be addressed before your couple’s therapist begins that work. We would discuss any relevant considerations and the implications for that therapeutic relationship before transitioning.

Closure counseling is intended to help both partners process and accept the end of a relationship when one or both partners have made a final decision to separate or divorce. Discernment counseling, on the other hand, is intended for couples who have not yet made a final decision about the future of their relationship and are willing to pause that decision while they take a closer look at their relationship, their individual experiences, and their options.

Discernment Therapy is offered at a self-pay rate of $270 for the initial 2-hour intake appointment and $180 for each 90-minute follow up. This aligns with our standard self pay rates and is adjusted for the extended time of each appointment. 

Insurance: When using insurance, the exact session rate is determined by your mental health coverage. This could be a copay, a deductible rate, or a coinsurance rate. Please confirm your plan’s coverage for therapy codes 90791, 90837, 90847, and 90846. Please note that the session times are limited by insurance and require a medically necessary diagnosis. See below session-structure details when accommodating these restrictions. 

When discernment therapy is used to address someone’s mood, emotional distress, or level of functioning, then most insurance companies view this form of family therapy as “medically necessary” and will cover it per your benefit plan. 

Additional Insurance Considerations:

• Insurance does not cover communication and administrative tasks that occur outside of the face-to-face therapy session, or any court-related tasks
• Insurance may not cover family therapy (codes 90847 and 90846)
• Insurance limits sessions to 30-60 minutes, therefore we will adjust our session format to align with these parameters. 

Traditional, self-pay Discernment Therapy is structured as follows: 

• Initial intake session: One two-hour session, following a structured discernment-therapy outline 
• Sessions 2–5: Four additional sessions, each lasting 90 minutes. Each session begins with a five-minute conjoint check-in, followed by approximately 35 minutes with each partner individually, and conclude with a brief conjoint check-in of approximately 5–10 minutes.
• Conclusion of the process: If the couple has not reached a decision by the end of the fifth session, discernment counseling is concluded and appropriate referrals and resources are provided based on the couples specific needs and next steps.

For clients wishing to use insurance, FSWC has adapted the structure to accommodate the limitations of standard session lengths (limited to 50-60 minutes) while still allowing couples the time they need to make an informed decision.

• Initial intake session: The first hour is used to conduct a standard counseling intake (which is required by insurance and will justify the medical necessity of any follow up sessions). Here, we assess whether discernment counseling is appropriate for the couple, discuss what discernment counseling would entail, and work to start the beginning parts of the discernment-specific intake questions.
• Session 2: The second conjoint session (50-55 min) is used to explore the divorce and repair narratives, the impact of the relationship’s future on any children, and the couple’s best times together. We also discuss and collaboratively establish boundaries for the extended discernment process.
• Sessions 3–8:  Because insurance-based sessions are more limited in length, we offer up to 8 (versus 5) discernment sessions. Sessions are formatted as:  20 minutes with each partner followed by a 10-minute check-in at the end. As the discernment counseling is concluded, appropriate referrals and resources are provided.

Discernment Therapy is intentionally limited to a maximum of 5 sessions because its primary goal is decision-making rather than long-term therapy or relationship repair. 

The structure is kept brief for several key reasons: 

1. Preventing Prolonged Indecision: Lingering in ambiguity can be painful, destructive and expensive. Discernment Therapy fosters a healthy sense of urgency to help partners move forward versus dragging the relationship uncertainty out.
2. Not Traditional Therapy: Discernment Therapy is built for “mixed-agenda” couples and is a short-term intervention, not couples therapy. 
3. Reaching a Clear Choice: The process is designed to help the couple reach one of three concrete pathways within 5 sessions. Path One: Maintain the status quo (no changes right now); Path Two: Proceed with separation or divorce; Path three: Make a dedicated, 6-month pause on divorce to commit fully to intensive couples therapy.

If you face indecision at the end of the 5 Discernment Therapy sessions, you may find yourself choosing Path One. Referrals for individual therapy can be provided and this can aid in the readiness to choose Paths Two or Three.

No! FSWC Reunification Therapists are ONLY licensed to provide services in North Carolina. Therefore, all participants must be physically in the state for any virtual services. 

For out of state situations, we encourage you to read more about our two-day family therapy intensives where all parties can come together in person for a structured and guided therapy “marathon”, condensing months of therapy into two meaningful days. 

Discernment Therapy is a specialized service offered by Sarina Loveless, LMFTA. 

Email Sarina Today! Sarina@familysolutionsandwellness.com

No. In order for the Discernment Therapist to remain completely neutral, they cannot potentially benefit from your decision to stay together and continue services in the form of couples therapy. Further, the Discernment Therapist may hold secrets whereas the Couples Therapist does not. Your Discernment Therapist will provide an aftercare plan with referrals such as individual therapy, couples therapy, divorce mediators, etc.